Unless you live in a cottage in the middle of nowhere by yourself, you probably need to communicate with others. And more importantly, you need to be able to communicate well, in a way that is most optimal both for you and those around you. There are quite a bit of challenges there. When to speak and when to listen? How to stand up for yourself and defend your point of view when needed? How to be assertive, and not aggressive, apologetic or passive? Whether it’s at work, with your family, friends or in relationships, proper communication sure is important. If you’ve found that this area of your life could need some improvements, read on to discover practical ways that yoga and meditation can improve your communication skills.
Yoga and meditation can improve communication skills because, thanks to them, we can learn:
- how to master our body language to help us send our message across
- the difference between reacting and responding
- the power of silence and of pausing
- when to listen and when to talk
- not to take all our thoughts too literally
- not to over explain ourselves
- how to set boundaries, when needed
- to be more open to others, when needed
- to stand your ground
The Silence of the Mind
One of the classic definitions of yoga is chitta vritti nirodha, which is Sanskrit for ‘stilling the fluctuations of the mind’. In this space of mind stillness, we stop being slaves to our impulses, reactions and triggers – we know better. We can truly take in what the other person is saying. And when the mind is still, so is our speech – we are clear, conscious and concise in our message.
For successful communication, the first thing we need is the silence of the mind. If you have loads of things on your mind, it might be difficult to be truly present in your conversations. As Marijana Kukic, a sports instructor specialized in yoga and meditation, explained us: “when we are in our daily mode, we are scattered.” There’s too much chatter in the mind and it can be difficult to weed out the things that need to be said from those that are not useful. Meditation and yoga help us tell the difference. “Meditation allows one to see the wider picture and gathers the mind. Together with asanas and pranayamas (breathing practices) it gives us mental, spiritual and physical strength not to take certain things too personally,” Marijana added.
Priyanka Devi Gupta is a Hatha and Vinyasa yoga teacher whose online classes I enjoy very much. I was very lucky that she shared her thoughts with us about this topic: “When we practice yoga and meditation regularly, we are able to let go of the mental and physical stresses of daily life. Where we might have become irritated or angry in some situations, our yoga practice helps us to pause and think before we speak or act. I have seen both with myself and with yoga and meditation clients that a consistent practice helps with focus and calming the mind, which in turn allows one to have clarity of thought hence communication skills are enhanced.”
Exercises for the Mind
Anulom Vilom
This pranayama helps you with focus, patience and control. It also helps to manage stress and anxiety. You can practice it before tough conversations. Do just 10 rounds in the beginning.
To check out other most popular type of pranayama and find the one that suits you and your challenges (stress, anxiety, depression, low energy) head over here.
Loving Kindness Meditation
Showing compassion and empathy for those we speak to can go a long way towards understanding them and their point of view. As we explained in our article on healthy dose of empathy, when we offer empathy to others, this can disarm their defense modes and help them relax with you. However, here’s the catch: many of us haven’t learned to approach ourselves with compassion, so how can we treat others in this way? Loving Kindness meditation teaches us exactly that. Here’s how to do it.
Writing Meditation
If you are too impatient or restless to practice classical forms of meditation, try writing meditation. It’s different from mourning journaling, which you might have heard of. While with journaling, you basically write anything that pops your mind, writing meditation is different. We asked Tara Maria Ford, who is a Yoga and Meditation Teacher and a Health and Wellness Coach, to tell us more about how to do it:
“The mind likes to tell stories and narrate what’s happening or what we think is happening. When we attempt to meditate, the mind often continues to narrate the experience of meditating and it can be challenging to sink into the moment, to allow the thoughts to drift away.
One practice that can help to create a little more distance from the thoughts is to visualize a container next to you. This container can be any shape, size, color. When a thought comes up, visualize putting it into the container next to you, knowing that you can come back to it at any time so it’s not gone for good. This can help release attachment to the thought. Then feel into your body, feeling the rise and fall as you breathe. Remember that this is a practice and in time it gets easier to set the thought aside and come back to your body.
When you feel like you have a little distance from your automatic thoughts, the ones that narrate your experience and tell you what you need to do in your day, you will notice that you’ll have a little more space for authentic experience. In this space, feel free to write and continue to set any narrating thoughts into the container next to you to come back to your body as you write. You can start with a subject to write about or just see what comes up in that space. Aside from yoga, practicing writing as meditation can help to tap into more authentic communication with ourselves and our loved ones.”
Communication = Words+?
You’ve probably heard that the words take up a pretty small proportion of one’s entire communication message – only 7%! Aside from what we say, what matters is how we say it. This is where our body posture and voice come in. They complement your message and people are pretty good at reading those. The body and your voice show how confident, assertive and honest you are – and much more. Here too yoga and meditation practices can effectively supplement your communication skills.
Communicating With Your Voice
Your voice says a lot, whether you’re aggressive, apologetic, insecure, calm, balanced, rushed and much more. To master your voice and the message it carries, pay attention to how you breathe. Priyanka: Most of us tend to breathe into our upper chest only, which basically means shallow breathing. This type of breathing creates tension in the upper body and our voice tends to sound strained. The moment we breathe deeply or take full deep breaths, the vocal cords automatically function better and the body is better nourished with oxygen. Our voice sounds stronger, and more confident.
The first step is just being aware of how you breathe, and with guidance from a trained yoga teacher, you can ease your way into better breathing practices that will help you not only sound more confident but also feel more alive and energized.
Breathing From the Diaphragm
All singers and public speakers have mastered diaphragmatic breathing. It will do you good to learn it. This is the foundation for all other yogic breathing practices. So, before starting any other practices, take some minutes in your day to simply sit still, place your hands on the diaphragm and just watch it rise and fall as you breathe.
Becoming in tune with the rhythm of the breath helps you use rhythm in communication. Proper use of rhythm gets people to listen to you better. It makes you sound more melodious and impactful. It makes sure your speech is not monotonous, cringey or boring. And let’s be honest, our patience and attention span are super short nowadays.
Exercises for Your Voice
Bhramari
Use this pranayama for a more confident and clear voice, especially before public performances or job meetings. Researchers have proved that it helps with acoustic and aerodynamic parameters of the voice, such as pitch, loudness, and glottal airflow. Start with 5 minutes, and move on to 10.
Lion’s Breath
If you’re used to censoring yourself a lot, and saying only what is socially appropriate, it’s time to let your roar out. Don’t hold back when doing this pose, just let it all out! Lion’s breath helps to clean out any stagnant energy residing in your communication channels. It’s also great for anger, irritation and frustration. Good to do before you go out to speak with someone who triggers you. Do it 5 times in the beginning, and then add 5 more. Do this exercise after the previous poses.
Communicating With Your Body
Proper Posture
Priyanka: “When we have a good posture, we feel better about ourselves and all our interactions come from a clear head. This helps us to communicate effectively. Many yoga poses help us lengthen our spine, allowing us to maintain or fix our posture. This allows the blood flow and prana/energy to circulate throughout the body.”
Yoga Poses for Good Posture:
- Mountain pose (Tadasan)
- Lord of the fishes (Ardha Matsyendrasan)
- Seated one leg to the head (Eka Padottanasan)
Embodied Yoga Poses
As we mentioned in our article on embodiment, the best way to integrate a new belief or quality in your life is to incorporate it in your body posture. Just saying “I am strong and confident” might not be enough (though for some people it is). What helps for many is to take up a pose that reflects your desired attitude. This in turn will change your mind state.
The following poses are adapted from the Embodied Yoga Principles course.
Taking up Space Pose
Many are not comfortable taking up space, in communication or otherwise. Holding this pose for a few minutes helps you get into that state of mind. Simply spread your arms and legs and imagine you are a rockstar standing in front of their audience.
- Spread your legs in a comfortably wide stance. Feet are out.
- Keep the weight of the body evenly distributed on both sides.
- Spine is straight.
- Spread your arms, keeping the hands above the head, and palms up
- Head is straight and mouth is slightly open and smiling.
- Gaze is forward and out
- Breath: outbreath is emphasized
- Gaze: forward and out
- Attention: out, in all directions
Taking up Space Meditation
Perhaps the above pose makes you feel too uncomfortable or triggers something in you. In that case, start with a simple visualization that you can do anywhere, any time. Simply, visualize yourself doing this pose.
Saying Yes
Perhaps you have too much resistance to certain people or certain situations. If you find that you are always disagreeing with someone, or they irritate you a lot, try the ‘yes’ yoga pose and the ‘yes’ meditation and see how your communication between you too changes.
Yes Pose
- Step with one leg to the front, as far as comfortable.
- Place your feet wide as the mat, if comfortable. If not, lower the width.
- 60% of the weight is on the back leg.
- Front foot faces forward, back foot out.
- Spine is slightly extended
- Hands are softly open
- Head is upright and relaxed.
- Face and gaze are soft and open and the mouth is slightly open.
- Attention is to the front.
- Breathe: stress the inbreath, and say yes in your native tongue on the outbreath.
Yes Meditation
This meditation is also known as equanimity meditation:
- Sit down and settle with a few calming breaths. Once you notice that you’ve calmed down, start saying yes in your native language, as many times as you want. How can you say yes with your body too?
- Then say: “Right not, that’s just how it is.” Keep repeating until it sinks in. Keep saying yes with your body.
- Then think of someone who triggers you and say: “They are how they are, I cannot change them.” Keep repeating this.
Saying No
If you feel there are situations and/or people you have a hard time saying no to, try this pose before you meet them. If it’s a high stake situation, start by practicing the pose in low stake settings, such as going to a supermarket or with a friend who wants to help.
No pose
- Step one foot to the front as far as it’s comfortable. Bend the front knee so that it goes slightly over the middle of the foot. Back foot turns to the right and slightly in. 60% of the body weight is on the front leg.
- Extend the spine
- One hand is in front of the center of the body, with the palm facing forward
- The other hand is placed in a fist, by the side of the right hip, looking up. The fist is not too tight or too loose.
- Head is straight, face is serious and the faze is focused to the front.
- Attention: opposes the front
- Breath: steady and firm and the outbreath is emphasized.
No pose is also precious to those who have a hard time setting boundaries. We wrote in more detail how yoga can help us achieve just this and we interviewed an expert on this matter. Head here to check that post.
Classical Yoga Poses for Better Communication Skills
These poses are great for the throat chakra, where, according to yoga, is the seat of our ability to communicate. Perhaps your throat tightens when you need to speak to someone. Or perhaps you feel that lump in your throat in certain situations. These poses clean out any energy blockages you might have in this area:
- Shoulder stand – Salamba Sarvangasana
- Plow pose – Halasana
- Fish Pose
More on Communication: The Role of Intention and Needs
People listen to your intention when you talk. Basically, there’s a voice in our head that is always asking: “What does this person want from me?” So, make sure to be clear on your intentions when talking to others. And make sure that your intentions are humane towards yourself and others.
Also, we wrote in our article on mindful communication that coming from a place of curiosity and care towards another human being improves your communication significantly. Another good starting point is identifying the needs of a person talking. Aside from practical yoga and meditation tools, it’s a good idea to read up on the theory behind mindful communication here.
Conclusion: Yoga, Meditation Are Proven Valuable Tools for Improving Communication Skills
If you’ve read this far, chances are that there are certain areas of communication you would like to work on. With the exercises we showed you, you sure can. Whatever your tendency or challenge is in communication, yoga and meditation offer a specific tool for it. You just need to use it enough time to see their effect. Do it!
Tatjana Glogovac, Senior Contributor At L’Aquila Active
Learn more about Tatjana by reading her bio below.
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