I entered a shop to buy a hair conditioner. There they are. A big line with hair conditioners alone. And I know what awaits me. Do I want a hair conditioner that nourishes, revitalizes, or rejuvenates my hair? Apparently, there is a different conditioner for each of these functions! Which one do I choose? And which brand do I want? I know I will have to spend more time than I had planned on buying a simple thing such as a hair conditioner. So, I start sweating. Ever been in my shoes? Probably you have and that’s what brought you over to this article. The good thing is that we are not the only ones. And when a problem becomes universal, it means that someone took the effort to try and solve it. Today we look into choice paralysis and different techniques to help you make decisions easier.
The paradox of choice, or choice paralysis is a problem that every modern man encounters. Let’s face it, we have too many options nowadays!
- Lowering your expectations.
- Applying the ‘just because I like it’ strategy and looking for subjective rather than objective reasons for making a certain decision.
- Accepting that there is no one single best option – each one has a different appeal.
- Settling for ‘good enough’ decisions/choices.
- Deciding which choices are worth making and which are not.
- Create default decision making rules.
- Accepting that, since you are human, you will eventually get used to anything. And the joy a certain decision once gave you will eventually fade away.
- Work with what you have.
- Instead of expectation, create anticipation.
Making ‘the Best’ Decision Possible
In today’s world of self-development where we want to be the best that we can be, it’s only logical that we want to make the best decisions for ourselves. And there comes the conflict. How to know which decision is the best one?
The Paradox of Choice – Even Eating Out Can Give You Choice Paralysis
I was walking through the streets of Lisbon when I got hungry. “I need to find a place to eat,” I thought to myself. So, I checked Google Maps looking for the little fork and knife sign. I found one nearby, so I zoomed in to see where it was.
As I did this, a bunch of other little forks and knives showed up. There were pizzerias, seafood restaurants, two sushi places and so on. Hmm. “What do I want to eat? It doesn’t matter, I am starving, whichever is closest.” But look, they are all in one place. OK, so I do not want to eat in the most expensive place, other than that, all options are fine. I started checking the price range for each of the restaurants, and several options were fine. OK, I will head to the square where all the places are located and then decide.
In the end, I spent so much time walking around trying to decide where I want to eat although I distinctly remember that I started my quest with the thought “Any place is fine.” After walking around for half an hour I chose sushi and ate it in less than ten minutes (I was really hungry, don’t judge me). All the walking made me feel exhausted and depleted, as if I had spent too much brain energy into something that just wasn’t worth it.
Barry Shwartz talks about this in his book, The Paradox of Choice. We spend so much time trying to make a certain decision, such as where to go on holiday. And by the time we’ve made that “best possible decision”, we feel exhausted. We’ve raised our expectations so high that no holiday option can meet them.
Subjective vs Objective Decision Making
What we need to care about are not objectively but subjectively best decisions. This means that the reasons for choosing a particular resort on a Greek island do not have to be grounded in the outer reality. We are looking for reasons within us. “I like this resort just because I like it.” We can create our own reasons from within, and with so many choices, out there, this might be the most reasonable thing to do.
Other than creating our own reasons, we can also create our own options. Barry Schwartz talks about choosers and pickers. Pickers look into what is already there and passively choose from those options. Choosers think whether the options available suit their needs and, if not, they create their own options.
For example, I will be using this approach when I start applying for jobs in Sweden. I tried looking at existing job ads and noticed that there are lots of criteria I don’t meet. So, instead I will put together everything I do on my website and reach out to different schools and organizations with my offer. Instead of passively selecting what is already there and having to deal with the fact that I likely won’t be chosen for the job interviews, I will come up with my own job description and offer that instead. Barry Shwartz would be proud of me!
There Is No One Single Best Option
While one option has these traits, the other one can have some others, and the third one can have completely different ones. So, it might be safe to assume that both objectively and subjectively, there is not one best option. Accepting this can ease your choice paralysis.
Good Enough a Choice
‘Good enough’ is a strategy used both in programming and psychology. On a scale 1-10, good enough is an 8. However, your 8 might be a 10 in reality, simply because you’ve raised the bar too high. The “good enough” approach can save you much time, effort and frustrations. Choose the option which is good enough to save yourself from the pain of decision making and to make life easier for yourself and your cognitive resources.
Also, when you don’t expect ‘the best’, you are less likely to get disappointed by what you get. Choose solid options. Choose an 8.
Shwartz refers to people who go for decisions that are good enough ‘satisfiers’. On the other end of the scale are ‘maximizers’. They want to make the maximum of their choices. However, it is the maximizers that are more likely to end up with regrets, failed expectations, and disappointments. To become a satisfier, you need to know what your standards for ‘good enough’ are and turn to them when you face a decision.
Sometimes You Don’t Even Need to Choose
Just because you have choices, it doesn’t mean you need to make them. Some choices are completely unnecessary. Like in my picking the restaurant example above – I would have settled for any option! Did I have to spend half an hour walking around restaurants to decide which one I like best? Definitely not. So, some choices are best left alone. For the sake of your own wellbeing. Also, perhaps you’ve heard that willpower is a limited resource. That’s why Barack Obama and Mark Zukenberg always wear the same colors/the same clothes. (They buy more pairs.) It is to save their willpower and decision making resources for other, more important things to do in the day. And these guys sure do important things.
So, sometimes the best thing to do when it comes to making decisions is not to make them. Decide which choices really matter to you and which don’t.
Create Default Decision Making Rules
This one can save you a ton of energy and time. When you limit your options, you will feel better and less overburdened by choice. For example, you may decide that you wish to spend no more than half an hour shopping at the supermarket. Or if someone crosses your boundaries, you may decide to wait till they do it the second time before you set things straight instead of wondering every time this happens when to address it.
Limits help you get things done. Structure and rules make things easier. They enable you to save your mental energy from having to make certain choices over and over again.
Just like we mentioned in our article on Yoga for Boundaries:
[…] limitation is an essential creative principle. If we didn’t limit our activities, we would accomplish nothing. If I didn’t limit my thoughts as I typed this manuscript, I couldn’t write. Far from being a negative, limitation creates a container that allows energy to build and gel into substance. To manifest, we must be willing to accept limitation. (Wheels of Life: A User’s Guide to the Chakra System by Anodea Judith)
The Dread of Regret
What people fear when they make choices is that they will regret them afterwards. ‘I should have,’ and ‘if only’’ can be uncomfortable thoughts to have. We can learn a lot from our regrets, but not if we dwell on them for too long.
What helps us with managing regret is knowing that although we can control the decision making process, we can’t control its outcome. There is only so much that we can predict. With choice paralysis, it is also helpful to remind ourselves that we compare our choices against invisible standards that only exist in our imagination. “It also pays to remember just how complex life is and to realize how rare it is that any single decision has the life-transforming power we assume it would” (Schwartz, 2004).
You Will Get Used to Anything
If you buy a new, cool car, what do you think, how long will your happiness last? For a while, yes. But soon that happiness will wear out. So bear this in mind when you face choice paralysis: the happiness that a certain decision gives you will only last a short time. And after that, you will need something else to make you happy! That’s a bummer. But it also helps you not get too attached to those yummy feelings of joy and not despair when they are gone. When this does happen, remind yourself how good the choice was in the beginning, and don’t think about the fact that you don’t feel this way any more. Accept this state as a natural part of human existence.
The Fear of Missing Out – Work With What You Have
When evaluating our decisions, we often compare them with those decisions we didn’t make. This is likely to breed FOMO, the fear of missing out. And FOMO in turn will get you to be less appreciative of the choice you made. My friend, who knows all too well how much I suck at making choices, once told me, “Tanya, if you buy a blue T-shirt, don’t think about what would have happened if you bought the red one. You bought that blue T-shirt, now enjoy it!”
Since at the moment I live in a small town with barely any friends or dating opportunities, there’s lots of unmet needs I have. In the old days I would feel depressed about this. Now I changed my approach – I work with what I have! I have this beautiful job, writing about things I enjoy. I am able to save quite a bit of money, which I couldn’t if I lived in a bigger city. And I get to enjoy time with my parents, who, by the way, rock.
So, instead of ruminating about the things your life choices got you to miss out on, focus on what they enabled you to have.
Instead of Expectation, Create Anticipation
Since expectations are likely to cause us suffering (because reality rarely manages to meet them), change your mindset and develop anticipation instead. With anticipation there is no assumption of certainty regarding a certain result. So, we are less likely to feel lousy when a certain result doesn’t happen. Also, anticipation is really cool because you start feeling all sorts of pleasant feelings, such as excitement, way before a certain outcome even happens!
Enjoying anticipation is a good way to befriend your decision making process. Instead of dreading it, enjoy it. Accept it as a part of the pleasant experience you hope to gain. While I hated going to supermarkets, my ex boyfriend really enjoyed it. He considered it a part of the pleasurable process of cooking (and that guy loooved to cook).
Conclusion: To Avoid Choice Paralysis, Change How You Make Choices
By changing how we approach decision making processes, we can circumvent choice paralysis. Be clever about this and change your decision making mindset following the strategies we suggested to make your decision making processes far more pleasurable.
Tatjana Glogovac, Senior Contributor At L’Aquila Active
Learn more about Tatjana by reading her bio below.
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