Sexuality is an inherent part of how we project ourselves into the world. How we walk, talk, and accomplish things in this physical reality are all connected to our sexuality. For our most optimal and enjoyable existence on this planet, it’s important to have a healthy relationship with our sexuality. That’s why balancing our chakra system is much needed to attain healthy sexuality.
As Amra Qbat, a Reiki master, yoga teacher and coach of Heal Your Life program explained to us: “It’s all about the chakras. These energy centers move us, heal us or make us ill. When they are not working well, nothing is working well. Unfortunately, all too often our sexuality is out of balance.”
Learn How To Open Your Chakras For Better Sex
How and why balancing the chakra system helps with healthy sexuality:
- The Root chakra helps us feel safe, worthy and trusting of ourselves and our partner. Open it by connecting with the Mother Earth. Any activities done with soil go a long way towards helping you balance this chakra.
- The Sacral chakra helps with creation, expression and experiencing pleasures. Water, movements and dancing are key for balancing this chakra.
- The Solar Plexus chakra helps with building self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love. When we feel good about ourselves, it becomes easier to give in to sexual pleasures. Balance this chakra by exposure to sunlight, and taking in vitamin D, action, and sweating.
- The Heart chakra is related to feeling love towards ourselves and others. It helps us experience joy in all that we do and all that we are. Hug a lot to balance this chakra.
- The Throat chakra is about honest and authentic self-expression and communication. When this chakra is balanced, we are free to use our voice and any sounds such as sighs and moans to express our sexuality, our feelings and pleasures. Balance this chakra by singing, using mantras, doing shoulder stands or plow pose regularly.
- The Third Eye chakra is associated with our intuition and our ability to connect with others on a higher level. When this chakra is in balance, we flow harmoniously with our partner. Use any type of meditation that helps you maintain one-pointed focus on an object, be it a candle, a light point, a mandala or yandala, whatever comes natural to you.
- The Crown chakra is about connecting with our higher consciousness. When it is open, we merge with our partner and become one. We experience the highest form of union possible for human beings. To balance this chakra, do headstands if you are a more advanced practitioner of yoga. Or, practice meditation until you reach complete absorption with the object of meditation.
What Is Healthy Sexuality
In the book Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, Firestone, Firestone, and Catlett explain that healthy sexuality entails respecting and honoring one’s body and sexual urges, interacting with genders respectfully and appropriately, properly expressing love and intimacy, having meaningful relationships and not engaging in those that are manipulative and exploitative. Healthy sexuality is also about expressing love, emotions, and giving and receiving pleasure respectfully without feeling guilt, shame or fear.
Those with healthy sexuality:
- cherish and are conscious of their bodies
- are sensual
- enjoy touching themselves unapologetically
- are comfortable experiencing sensual and sexual pleasures
- are able to nurture themselves and others and accept when others nurture them
- have a well-developed sense of themselves
- comfortable expressing what does and does not feel good for them
- do not mind being vulnerable in front of others
- work on healing from their past sexual issues and detrimental beliefs
- are confident about expressing when they need touch and not sex from their partner
Healthy sexuality is the ideal example of mind body harmony. As Mirjana Andrejevic Petronijevic, Reiki master and healer, shared with us: “When we grow and develop our consciousness, we also develop our sexuality. It stops being primitive and overtly expressed and starts to harmonize the masculine and feminine energy in all of us. It becomes creative, holy and omnipresent. It’s in us and everywhere around us, in bees, flowers, forests, nature. When we start to see divinity in ourselves, we are able to see purity and bliss in our sexuality.”
The Root Chakra and Healthy Sexuality
A balanced Root chakra is fundamental for balancing all the other chakras. Just like when building a house, we need to have a good foundation, the same goes for our energy centers. A balanced root chakra is associated with good health and mental stability. It is about our right to be and exist in this world, to feel worthy and whole. It’s connected with our most primal, basic needs related to survival, sex being among them. When blocked, we experience fear, a lack of safety and trust. It’s difficult to open up intimately and connect with someone if we are having problems with any of these.
Another thing associated with an imbalanced root chakra is a lack of vitality. This can often happen for women who have difficulty climaxing. In the culture that promotes skinny bodies as the ideal of beauty, our vitality can pay the price. As for men, strong root chakra helps them last longer in bed and have stronger erections.
How to Balance the Root Chakra:
Any activities involving the ground and earth help us balance out root chakra.
Amra Q: “Grounding, connecting with the Mother Earth, working with soil, planting flowers, trees or gardening are all great ways to balance the root chakra. Also, wear the color red.”
There are other ways to balance this chakra, which we presented in the following article.
The Second Chakra and Sexuality
The second chakra, or the Sacral chakra, is the seat of our sexuality. Sexuality is not just related to sex. It’s about creation in all forms of it. Anyone who creates and brings something to the world, be it a project, a piece of art, or children is using their sexual energy. The second chakra is related to our emotions, play, unstructured expression, and our connection to our inner child.
Many things can block the second chakra, usually guilt and shame around sex and sexual pleasures that our cultures often instill in us from our early days. When imbalanced, it can lead to promiscuous behaviors, frigidity, impotence or genital health problems. Other difficulties that may arise due to a blocked second chakra are wounded emotions, fear of judgment, repression, and frustration.
How to Balance the Sacral Chakra:
Start by accepting yourself as a sexual being. If you’ve ever had any sexual experiences that make you feel uncomfortable, start by truly forgiving yourself. Find ways how you can do that. Any activities that give you healthy pleasures, such as food, talking to your friends, travelling etc. can balance your second chakra. Play is very beneficial here. Any form of play, be it with children, your loved ones or just by yourself, helps tremendously to heal your second chakra.
Amra Q: Water, movements, flexibility, dancing are very powerful, and, interestingly – playground swings balance the second chakra.
The Third Chakra and Healthy Sexuality
Our third chakra, the Solar Plexus chakra, is the seat of our ego, our sense of I. It’s connected with our self-confidence, self-esteem (if you are struggling with it, head over to this post to see how to open and balance this chakra for higher self-esteem), personal power and self-love. It’s the center of our will power, desire and passion. That’s why dancers of tango, one of the most passionate dances, move from this chakra.
When we feel comfortable with our own sense of self, we are comfortable with expressing our sexuality and sexual energy. We engage in unselfish sex, free to give and receive sexually with gratitude and appreciation. When this chakra is underactive, we feel restraint in surrendering to sexual pleasures. We feel uncomfortable showing up sexually as we are, feeling good in our bodies and claiming our sexual wants and needs. Those with overactive third chakra may be overcontrolling and manipulating during the sexual experience.
How to Balance the Third Chakra:
Amra Q: Taking vitamin D, exposure to sun light, action, and sweating work really well for balancing the third chakra.
The Fourth Chakra and Healthy Sexuality
The fourth chakra, or the heart chakra, is all about love and expressing love towards ourselves and others. When our heart chakra is open, we enjoy a passionate and profound sexual experience. However, when this chakra is overactive, we tend to overgive and exhaust ourselves. If underactive, we are disconnected during sex and treat this act as nothing but a primitive means to satisfying our needs.
We can open our heart chakra even towards those we have a one night or casual sex with. And this makes the experience more beautiful and honest. You can always find something to love about the person you engage in sexual intercourse with. One yogi once said, “Respect is the highest form of love.” So, if you show respect (and you should) towards the person who is giving you their body, time, presence and energy, your heart chakra will open. Don’t take for granted when others give this to you. Respect them regardless of their level of consciousness, and you will enjoy the experience much more.
How to Open the Heart Chakra:
Amra Q: Hugging. The more hugging you do, the more balance and ever-lasting love is there for you and others. Then, joy is present and joy is necessary to have meaning in life.
The Fifth Chakra and Healthy Sexuality
The fifth chakra, or the throat chakra is associated with our self-expression and honest and authentic communication. It’s clear then how it affects our sexuality. When our throat chakra is balanced, we are free to express ourselves sexually through using our voice and communicating our sexual needs, wants and fantasies. Then our sexual expression is natural, and authentic. On the other hand, when it’s blocked, we are unable to fully enjoy and embrace our sexual expression. Also, the throat chakra helps us release stagnant energy though the sounds we make.
A great way to practice opening this chakra and improving your communication skills is through the following yoga and meditation tools we presented in this article.
How to Open the Throat Chakra:
Amra Q: “We need to balance the second and the fifth chakra at the same time because they are directly connected and are always cooperating. So, if one is blocked, it’s likely that the other is too.” That’s why during sexual experiences many people sigh or moan and in this way they stimulate their sexual pleasure centers.
“Practicing shoulder stands and plow pose on a regular basis do wonders for balancing the throat chakra. Singing and mantras also help a great deal.”
The Sixth Chakra and Healthy Sexuality
The Third Eye chakra is about intuition and wisdom. When we surrender to our intuition, we enter the space that connects the physical and spiritual. Indeed, incredible sexual experiences arise when we trust our intuition and are able to connect with our partners on an intuitive level. When this chakra is balanced, we flow in harmony with our partners. When it’s not, it becomes difficult to attain this level of intimacy. Also, sex can become very mechanical.
How to Open the Sixth Chakra:
Amra Q: Any kind of focus meditation helps, be it on an object such as a candle, a light point, mandala, or yantra whatever comes more natural.
Sex is in fact a kind of meditation. As we previously wrote in our 15 Tantra and Mindfulness-Based Practices for Better Sex article, both are (or should be) about being completely in the moment. Both are supposed to be about enjoying each and every moment, present with each breath we take, without any goals or agendas, giving ourselves fully to the experience.
The Seventh Chakra and Healthy Sexuality
The seventh chakra or the crown chakra is the most spiritual of all chakras. It acts as a bridge to our universal consciousness and higher guidance. When this chakra is balanced, you are in absolute union with your partner. There is no more separation between you and the other. You are one and all is one. Connecting with your partner on this level is the one of most divine experiences you can hope to attain with someone. That’s why many people have started practicing tantra.
How to Open the Crown Chakra:
Amra Q: Any type of meditation during which you become one with the object of meditation, i.e. you are completely absorbed in the object of meditation serves this purpose. For more advanced practitioners of yoga, headstands are great.
Conclusion: You Deserve the Gift of Healthy Sexuality
If you do not feel all too comfortable with your sexuality, don’t worry. The experts we interviewed say that this is very common. However, just because it’s common, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do anything about it. Instead, take a look your energy centers, your chakras, and see how balancing these can help you enjoy healthy sexuality. You deserve this.
And if you want to look further into this topic, go here to see different ways you can last longer and enjoy more.
Tatjana Glogovac, Senior Contributor At L’Aquila Active
Learn more about Tatjana by reading her bio below.
Click on link below to meet L’Aquila Active’s entire team of experts, including university degrees, certifications, and credentials on yoga and meditation: